All of your favorite Thanksgiving guests NU-ified
Whether you’re watching a movie or a sitcom or attending your own Thanksgiving celebration, there’s always that same cast of characters. The crazy uncle, the one who “changed your diapers” that you don’t even recognize and the one who comes through with the best side dish are a few that may sound familiar.
But when all of Northwestern Athletics sit down for a Thanksgiving celebration, who fills each of these roles? That’s what we’re here to find out today.
Our hosts: Kate Drohan and Joe McKeown
Who better to host this evening of festivities than two of Northwestern’s longest-tenured coaches. Kate Drohan has been with the ‘Cats for over 20 years now, and you know she has the connections to get everyone in the family on board, despite any internal disputes. A uniting force in women’s softball at Northwestern, Drohan is a great facilitator and can ensure everyone is in the best role to succeed on the big day.
McKeown is a great compliment to Drohan, as a jovial and relaxed host who can also be the mastermind behind some crafty matchups on the basketball court. As one of the most seasoned coaches in women’s college basketball history, he’s seen it all, and can create a great team to come together.
The chef: Caroline Lau
Who better to dish out all the best eats on Turkey Day than the point guard who dishes out assists like Oprah gives out cars. “You get an assist! And you get an assist! And YOU get an assist!” Lau delivers some elite passes to her teammates, and by that same logic, would make some killer dishes suited to the needs of all of the guests around the dinner table.
The successful cousin you get compared to: Ashley Sessa
You hear it in sitcoms all the time: “You should be more like Marissa, she’s a doctor!” After being the youngest member of the U.S. Olympic Team, she is now a college national champion. She’s the cousin that your parents would ask you to be more like given your close age proximity, despite your clear lack of field hockey skills. Let’s be honest, we know you’re not making that goal to put NU above Massachusetts in the semifinals, and frankly, you wouldn’t even touch the ball against Saint Joseph’s in the finals. Nonetheless, there’s no reason to feel bad, you’re doing just fine at your own thing, and it was rude for them to compare you to others.
The fun cousin you end up hanging out with: Sophia Summers
While nobody is mad at Sessa for her success, there’s always that one down-to-earth cousin who you’re naturally more drawn to. In this case, the middle blocker is a perfect fit. She became a crucial piece for the ‘Cats all season, coming through time and time again with her blocking prowess up front. As a result, you have someone to hang out with on Turkey Day who is not only successful, but down-to-earth so you don’t have to fear the comparisons that may come.
The one who wakes up early to Black Friday shop: Chris Collins
Chris Collins is known for being a subtly active viewer of the transfer portal and tries to find the best deals that others may not find. Last season, he believed that his call to Ryan Langborg after entering the transfer portal may have been the quickest ever. With his dedication to being the first person to make the call, you know he’d bring a tent and camp out in front of the local mall, whether in Princeton, Fairfield or across the Atlantic, if it meant that his team is a well-oiled machine.
The one who falls asleep first: Xander Mueller
All of those tackles must be exhausting, and it’s ok, Xander, we’d be tired too. While that tryptophan in the family turkey is sure to have a calming effect, you just have to many excuses for a nap. After being fourth in the Big Ten in tackles last season, and a football season that is coming to a close shortly, soreness in inevitable. And it’s alright, the family football game will happen even without you. You can even hop in to coach when you wake up.
The winners of the family football game: Garrett Shearer, Ava Earl and Trevor Chumbley
The football team has decided to sit this out to coach the stars of the next generation. With all of Northwestern Athletics split up, who would be the super team in a friendly 3-on-3 family football action? To start, we need a QB, and when thinking about who throws the most heat, the natural conclusion is Garrett Shearer, the fireballing pitcher. He’ll be dishing out passes with more velocity than some can handle. Some hands might be bruised, but they’ll be healed by the thrill of victory,
Next up we need a wide receiver, someone with absolute wheels who nobody can catch up to. In this case, Ava Earl is the perfect one to fill a much-needed role on this squad. The cross country runner and singer fits perfectly on the team. With program records in both the 800m and the 5000m, not only can she sprint past any defenders, but she also has the stamina to outlast opponents all afternoon.
To round out the team, we need someone who can force their way through defenders as a running back, and also make some tackles while chasing down others on defense. As a redshirt senior on Northwestern’s wrestling team, Trevor Chumbley is no stranger to takedowns. Plus, with some notable upsets on his record, he won’t be intimidated by anyone who crosses his path.